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Thread: Clefts Guide In Getting Your Cookies

  1. #1

    Default Clefts Guide In Getting Your Cookies

    As an reader of the forums, I'm getting tired of reading unprofessional/NotWorthMyTime (AKA N.W.M.T) posts. In response to this dilemma I shall lend an earful of knowledge in how to get what you want.





    The Preparation
    Leave you'er egg and two sticks of butter out till it's room temperature while yer oven is preheating.



    Most of you, (if not all) are pretty angry or upset when you don't get what you want. So what should you do? Send a complaint of course; Rather it's forums, PM an official or staff member, ticket system, email, or yes. Even phone calling. But you gotta keep one thing in mind. You aren't your usual self, yer not in your natural state is another way to put it. So your going to say and think some things that you normally wouldn't. My advice, write it out anyways, and check it FIVE times. Trust me, two times isn't enough and here is why.




    I'ma be honest, if I were to read annual complaints for a living I would wanna stick to the one's that make sense. Spelling is first, I cannot stress how many times your complaint will be thrown out on the spot for common spelling mistakes. No one wants to read that garbage, it's no different than a two year old drawing on the walls with crayons. Grammar is also a must. MeNoLikeBadWrite. If engrish is your best level of communication then you should get someone else to write the complaint for you. Because ain't nobody have time to decode your encrypted note. Also Proper punctuation's will earn you an gold star, literally.





    After all if I were to remove all the periods and comma's in this guide, I guarantee you won't be able to read a single line efficiently. Speaking of not being able to read a line, please make sure your complaint is not insulting, offensive, or just pure pointing finger's. Your hateful words will just provide heat to the furnace, office's get very cold during the winter you know?





    Get to the point and do it snappy. Don't have the people guess at what you're reason for complaining is, because they will most likely get lost inside of you're stories within stories rant and dismiss it. And don't just say it once, repeat the point again thoroughly throughout the body of the message in different forms.




    Mixing Your Wetness
    Blend your egg, butter, and sugar together into an creamy mixture.




    Okay so you wanna put you're card's into play, great. Just play them throughout the whole letter and not in one confusing sentence. You wanna make sure the information you're giving is mixing well with the body of messages you said prior and afterward's. The key is to allow the reader to transition through you're message back and forth to completely understand where you're coming from. So for an example:


    Dear Department of LH Social Services:

    I'm writing in regards to a yuri couple making out publicly in an Yaoi only district. When I walked down "I'm Coming"
    lane, I saw the most morally disturbing spectacle of my afternoon. Two public officials started making out in the name of Yuri. How can I trust the system when it's full of corrupt heretics? Certainly you wouldn't either.. .



    And I stop right there. The main subject was immediately known, and it transitioned to the time and setting of the disturbance, as well as the mind shocking "Public Officials" comment. Basically you want to stay* on topic. Thing's like this ^ will keep the readers attention and interest in you're favor. You want to convince the reader that what their viewing is worth their time.



    Spice It Up
    Add in your salt, baking powder, and vanilla lemon extract.



    If you really want their attention and favor, add some humor (if possible) or an interesting point. Don't give the evaluators something boring to read, even if it does make sense. Their mind will drift off, some points will be missed, and you may be forgotten about even before the investigation occurs. Just put some spice in your letter. Be brief, straight to the point and constructive.



    The Final Mix
    Gradually add Your flour and blend quickly, too much mixing will make your product stiff!




    Save you're work as you progress to word/notepad, in-fact make a second alternative file save type just in case. It would suck if you lost all that hard editing to an power out, crash, or some troll in you're house.





    Also Check you're changes again and make sure everything is as you really want it to be.


    The Molding
    Wham some flour on your hands and toss that Tablespoon spoon of dough in yer hands.



    Rather your submitting a complaint through an software or just plain typing it out; Make sure the font and any templates as well as formatting you've placed in your complaint is compatible. If it's not, Rich Text Format (.RTF) is your friend, .PDF save is your Soul Mate. They can view it as it is when it's saved to an .PDF file. Be sure to follow any guidelines or instruction's the company has set out for you in order to submit your complaint to be read.



    Let It Burn
    Place the evenly spread out dough on the middle rack in the oven.



    Test the waters, have an friend or even an complete stranger read you're complaint and pay attention to their feedback. If you're alone *cough prefer to be alone you're next option is to wait a day and read afterward's. You're an different person than you were the night before; Yer thinking very differently and that's good for proof reading.



    Let The Flames Exhaust
    Let the cookies finalize their form, let it cool!


    After submitting/posting the complaint, the best thing to do is shut off you're computer and go to bed. Don't wait for comments or an immediate response. Chances are if you're submitting a complaint, it won't be read for another 24 hours. If you're posting, let the trolls waste their energy, and the ignorant blab off into nothingness. You need to prove that you as the op are serious about it and you have no desire to partake in anything off topic. What you posted is all you wanted and nothing more.


    Like Icing On a Ca..Cookie.
    Whip Cream, Ice Cream, Cream Cheese, Frosting, Sprinkles, Caramel. It will all taste good on a cookie!





    After the storm has passed and the appropriate staff member has replied, it's you're time to post accordingly. Now from here on is up to you; You could be replying because you disagree, or you do agree. Sometime's you'll reply to give appreciation for the response or you'll just reply there's information left unsaid. Whatever the case is, make sure you're response is not bitter and full of muck.










    Alright that's it, thank's for reading and I hope the information I shared applied at-least some* insight. /o/


    PS:If you actually followed the brown text bellow the headers, you will make Tea-Cake's Cookies. They really taste good with tea or even just alone. /o/ *cough I haz Recipe saved.
    Last edited by Cleftobismal; November 21st, 2014 at 08:53 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Here
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    Default

    Serious question. How long did that take you to write?

  3. #3

    Default

    i'm going to be honest here... i just looked at the pictures and scrolled to the bottom. o3o

  4. #4

    Default

    And apparently the forums has a 30-minute time limit to fix your plurals and "an's". Horaah /o/.







    Quote Originally Posted by KagutsuchiLH View Post
    i'm going to be honest here... i just looked at the pictures and scrolled to the bottom. o3o
    I'm glad you like obnoxiously big pictures.
    Last edited by Cleftobismal; November 21st, 2014 at 09:16 PM.

  5. #5

    Default

    I though this is a guide to get fortune cookies on Lucenheart....
    (btw, i've been trying to change my usernames and it said update failed.... and it said i've used my username change this month lol halp.)

  6. #6

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Faedt View Post
    Serious question. How long did that take you to write?
    Too Long

    Quote Originally Posted by OrekiiiHoud8nLp View Post
    I though this is a guide to get fortune cookies on Lucenheart....
    (btw, i've been trying to change my usernames and it said update failed.... and it said i've used my username change this month lol halp.)
    Send in a ticket.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    EST
    Posts
    940

    Default

    I spent way too much time looking at the picture with your fingers in it.

    "I thought Cleft was a guy...but those fingers look so girly."

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Oxycore View Post
    I spent way too much time looking at the picture with your fingers in it.

    "I thought Cleft was a guy...but those fingers look so girly."

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    UK - England
    Posts
    51

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Oxycore View Post
    I spent way too much time looking at the picture with your fingers in it.

    "I thought Cleft was a guy...but those fingers look so girly."
    Have you considered the fact that they are not his/her fingers as this is probably not taken by him/her. (right clicking and search google for this image came up with several results, using chrome)
    LH IGN:
    606jmf - Moon Flame Envoy
    Asiachan - Sun Commissioner

  10. #10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jmf606 View Post
    Have you considered the fact that they are not his/her fingers as this is probably not taken by him/her. (right clicking and search google for this image came up with several results, using chrome)
    Dont destroy the surprise
    (guess ill wait with this username... huehue)

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